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A word on marriage and marital strains
Hi all my precious brothers and sisters,
There is so much strain on marriages, especially Christian marriages, that I felt compelled to put something simple together from the Word of God on the matter.
1. God designed and made marriage.
2. It was His idea and as He put it “It is good”.
3. Mankind has fallen into sinful disuse of God’s marriage rules and both men and women find themselves falling short of the blessings of marriage.
4. When pressures from both inside the marriage (selfishness, thoughtlessness and the responses fuelled by satan) and outside the marriage (be they financial and other threats or relationship boundaries not respected) then there is often a tendency for one or both of the partners to want to get out of the marriage as they no longer see the boundaries as a means to keep them safely together, protected from the outside, but rather it has become a boxing match and they want out of the ring (no pun intended).
5. It is at this point that Christians need to know how to determine their behaviour in the situation, their decisions on the situation and the path they are to follow after the situation.
6. First off – if you are both Christians then marriage is Holy and divorce is an incredible slap in God’s face. (Christians behaviour will also determine if they are truly Christians or not)
7. Secondly – obey God’s Word
God’s Word on marriage:
1Co 7:1 Now, to deal with the matters you wrote about. A man does well not to marry.
1Co 7:2 But because there is so much immorality, every man should have his own wife, and every woman should have her own husband.
1Co 7:3 A man should fulfill his duty as a husband, and a woman should fulfill her duty as a wife, and each should satisfy the other's needs.
1Co 7:4 A wife is not the master of her own body, but her husband is; in the same way a husband is not the master of his own body, but his wife is.
1Co 7:5 Do not deny yourselves to each other, unless you first agree to do so for a while in order to spend your time in prayer; but then resume normal marital relations. In this way you will be kept from giving in to Satan's temptation because of your lack of self-control.
1Co 7:6 I tell you this not as an order, but simply as a permission.
1Co 7:7 Actually I would prefer that all of you were as I am; but each one has a special gift from God, one person this gift, another one that gift.
1Co 7:8 Now, to the unmarried and to the widows I say that it would be better for you to continue to live alone as I do.
1Co 7:9 But if you cannot restrain your desires, go ahead and marry---it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
1Co 7:10 For married people I have a command which is not my own but the Lord's: a wife must not leave her husband;
1Co 7:11 but if she does, she must remain single or else be reconciled to her husband; and a husband must not divorce his wife.
1Co 7:12 To the others I say (I, myself, not the Lord): if a Christian man has a wife who is an unbeliever and she agrees to go on living with him, he must not divorce her.
1Co 7:13 And if a Christian woman is married to a man who is an unbeliever and he agrees to go on living with her, she must not divorce him.
1Co 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is made acceptable to God by being united to his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made acceptable to God by being united to her Christian husband. If this were not so, their children would be like pagan children; but as it is, they are acceptable to God.
1Co 7:15 However, if the one who is not a believer wishes to leave the Christian partner, let it be so. In such cases the Christian partner, whether husband or wife, is free to act. God has called you to live in peace.
1Co 7:16 How can you be sure, Christian wife, that you will not save your husband? Or how can you be sure, Christian husband, that you will not save your wife?
1Co 7:17 Each of you should go on living according to the Lord's gift to you, and as you were when God called you. This is the rule I teach in all the churches.
Summary:
· A man should fulfill his duty as a husband, and a woman should fulfill her duty as a wife, and each should satisfy the other's needs.
· For married people: a wife must not leave her husband;
· but if she does, she must remain single or else be reconciled to her husband; and a husband must not divorce his wife.
· if the one who is not a believer wishes to leave the Christian partner, let it be so. In such cases the Christian partner, whether husband or wife, is free to act. God has called you to live in peace.
· Each of you should go on living according to the Lord's gift to you
· Each of you should go on living as you were when God called you
· each one has a special gift from God, one person this gift, another one that gift.
8. This then is for you to do. If you have disobeyed in the past, then do all you can to reconcile, but if no longer possible ask God to forgive both of you. Ask your children to forgive you and ask your parents to forgive you. For they too are injured.
Then live right with God and mankind.
Your little brother in [Jesus Christ, He who did His first miracle at the wedding in Cana of Galilee]
Rick Evans
There is so much strain on marriages, especially Christian marriages, that I felt compelled to put something simple together from the Word of God on the matter.
1. God designed and made marriage.
2. It was His idea and as He put it “It is good”.
3. Mankind has fallen into sinful disuse of God’s marriage rules and both men and women find themselves falling short of the blessings of marriage.
4. When pressures from both inside the marriage (selfishness, thoughtlessness and the responses fuelled by satan) and outside the marriage (be they financial and other threats or relationship boundaries not respected) then there is often a tendency for one or both of the partners to want to get out of the marriage as they no longer see the boundaries as a means to keep them safely together, protected from the outside, but rather it has become a boxing match and they want out of the ring (no pun intended).
5. It is at this point that Christians need to know how to determine their behaviour in the situation, their decisions on the situation and the path they are to follow after the situation.
6. First off – if you are both Christians then marriage is Holy and divorce is an incredible slap in God’s face. (Christians behaviour will also determine if they are truly Christians or not)
7. Secondly – obey God’s Word
God’s Word on marriage:
1Co 7:1 Now, to deal with the matters you wrote about. A man does well not to marry.
1Co 7:2 But because there is so much immorality, every man should have his own wife, and every woman should have her own husband.
1Co 7:3 A man should fulfill his duty as a husband, and a woman should fulfill her duty as a wife, and each should satisfy the other's needs.
1Co 7:4 A wife is not the master of her own body, but her husband is; in the same way a husband is not the master of his own body, but his wife is.
1Co 7:5 Do not deny yourselves to each other, unless you first agree to do so for a while in order to spend your time in prayer; but then resume normal marital relations. In this way you will be kept from giving in to Satan's temptation because of your lack of self-control.
1Co 7:6 I tell you this not as an order, but simply as a permission.
1Co 7:7 Actually I would prefer that all of you were as I am; but each one has a special gift from God, one person this gift, another one that gift.
1Co 7:8 Now, to the unmarried and to the widows I say that it would be better for you to continue to live alone as I do.
1Co 7:9 But if you cannot restrain your desires, go ahead and marry---it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
1Co 7:10 For married people I have a command which is not my own but the Lord's: a wife must not leave her husband;
1Co 7:11 but if she does, she must remain single or else be reconciled to her husband; and a husband must not divorce his wife.
1Co 7:12 To the others I say (I, myself, not the Lord): if a Christian man has a wife who is an unbeliever and she agrees to go on living with him, he must not divorce her.
1Co 7:13 And if a Christian woman is married to a man who is an unbeliever and he agrees to go on living with her, she must not divorce him.
1Co 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is made acceptable to God by being united to his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made acceptable to God by being united to her Christian husband. If this were not so, their children would be like pagan children; but as it is, they are acceptable to God.
1Co 7:15 However, if the one who is not a believer wishes to leave the Christian partner, let it be so. In such cases the Christian partner, whether husband or wife, is free to act. God has called you to live in peace.
1Co 7:16 How can you be sure, Christian wife, that you will not save your husband? Or how can you be sure, Christian husband, that you will not save your wife?
1Co 7:17 Each of you should go on living according to the Lord's gift to you, and as you were when God called you. This is the rule I teach in all the churches.
Summary:
· A man should fulfill his duty as a husband, and a woman should fulfill her duty as a wife, and each should satisfy the other's needs.
· For married people: a wife must not leave her husband;
· but if she does, she must remain single or else be reconciled to her husband; and a husband must not divorce his wife.
· if the one who is not a believer wishes to leave the Christian partner, let it be so. In such cases the Christian partner, whether husband or wife, is free to act. God has called you to live in peace.
· Each of you should go on living according to the Lord's gift to you
· Each of you should go on living as you were when God called you
· each one has a special gift from God, one person this gift, another one that gift.
8. This then is for you to do. If you have disobeyed in the past, then do all you can to reconcile, but if no longer possible ask God to forgive both of you. Ask your children to forgive you and ask your parents to forgive you. For they too are injured.
Then live right with God and mankind.
Your little brother in [Jesus Christ, He who did His first miracle at the wedding in Cana of Galilee]
Rick Evans
